Tag Abuse

It’s a beautiful Sunday evening. I spent my morning reading my first Danielle Steel book, The Sins of the Mother, which I couldn’t put down. Then I found out that my story in Book One of the Faith Series is finally on the Main Spotlight to be critiqued. Furthermore, I received an awesome message on my scratchpad that another writer really loves my work. A few minutes later I was notified by email that I had my first critique, and it was an awesome critique that put a great big smile on my face. Reading this critique confirmed that my writing is getting better, I’m learning more about my style of writing, and others are loving my story thus far, and is looking forward to reading more from Book One, Faith Series. This is very encouraging and enlightening! I received my second critique which was great as well, but I need to use more description in my writing, which I lack. I can’t wait to get my writing fingers moving and grooving so I can become a better writer through the Faith Series Writing Journey.

I look forward to rewriting the ending to my first chapter, rewriting the first part of chapter two which has been critiqued by a different site and adding the second part of chapter two with the chapter two revision. Once completely revised and combined, I will submit the entire chapter two for reviews.

Moving on….it’s September. School has started for my children about a week ago. I’ve been beyond busy with appointments between my children and I. Not to mention, starting my second business, handmade products, such as beaded jewelry. I’ve had some challenges along the way with taking several different medications to manage my Bipolar Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Rape Trauma Syndrome, and Depression while still dealing with PCOS. These complications has caused me to become manic because my insurance won’t approve the medication that really works for me.

I’ve been making decisions that haven’t been in our best interest. In the process, I’ve realized abusers cannot be helped by their victim.…To this day I continue to live with the side effects.

People cannot change their ways unless they’re aware of what they’re doing to others; understanding their behavior is changing and effecting their livelihood, including their career; and they have a willing heart to want to seek professional help. I don’t know what God is doing, but I know that prayers speak volumes and anything is possible through prayer and seeking a relationship with the Lord.

What do you do when your back is against the wall? When you think about what is in the best interest of your children, as well as yourself, you’re doomed, if you do, and doomed, if you don’t. Writing really is a major outlet to help me express my world from a realistic literary fiction perspective.

During my travels on the train, I’ve been focused on writing more to Book One. Since my story hits so close to home, I decided to make a few changes in regards to my characters. I also chose to add chapter three to be the ending of chapter two. My chapter four is now chapter three. Chapter five is now chapter four. Chapter six moves into chapter four. The reason for all of these changes is because I wanted the plots to stay in the same chapter oppose to splitting the plots. These changes make for a better story flow, and fits my style of writing.

Three days ago, I started writing chapter five, but I’m not finished. I’m hoping to write chapter five and six by the end of the Labor Day holiday. The story is moving in so many different directions due to Faith meeting new people, falling into unexpected situations beyond her control, and on the flip side, making decisions within her control which were not too street smart.

As a writer, I’m hoping to show my readers how life can instantly take many different turns in less than one year. More so, Book One really sheds light on the start of abusive relationships, and a young woman who is dealing with multiple victimization. Book One is really going to open up the eyes of many, and I’m pretty sure others can relate to Faith and realize that they are not alone.

Our career goals have a great impact on the decisions that we make. These choices can also hinder our goals in the long run. Faith shows the reader how her career moves has made and broke her, all at the same time.

If this is speaking to your spirit, please share your story with my blog readers. I would love to hear from others. Remember, sharing your story could help others who are currently going through similar experiences.

I welcome words of encouragement, uplifting, and spiritual guidance as I currently get over this hurdle that we’re facing. I appreciate any comments. Thank you!

Please share, follow & like us:)

Lately I’ve been doing many critiques and having my writing critiqued as well, but have not shared the Chapter One Extension critiques as promised. So this Saturday afternoon, I’m sharing my second, third, fourth and fifth critiques. I hope this is helpful during your writing journey.

At the same time, I’m waiting for my WordPress blog themes to show up completely. The internet is a bit slow for some reason. I’ve decided to start a separate blog site specifically for the Faith Series. The domain is www.faithserieswritingjourney.wordpress.com. Please visit once the site is completed. I’m hoping to help many writers and authors along the way as I take on this writing journey myself.

Also, for my readers, I hope to bring insight to the Faith Series so they can get a glimpse into the creation of the novels. Currently, I’m on Book One. I’m not really sure how many books the series will have, but I’ll have a better idea once I keep writing the story. So let’s get into it!

Second Critique

After reading the entire critique, I only want to respond to one comment by the reviewer.

I don’t mope about my destructive life cycle. I don’t cry over spilled milk. I don’t regret my loose cannons from exploding in a moment that left me worthless, used and abused.
I don’t mope about my destructive life cycle Not sure what this means.

I don’t cry over spilled milk. Too many metaphors consider eliminating one of two.

The reviewer is not sure what “destructive life cycle” means. To me, destructive life cycle is when a person’s life keeps moving at the same pace, which is the cycle. It doesn’t change. Where you started is where you keep ending up, over and over again. In this case, Faith has a life that is very destructive due to being victimized during different moments that have left her feeling worthless, used and abused.

Third Critique

After reading:
You have a good start here. Keep writing! I hope my suggestions are helpful.

Yes, the reviewer’s suggestions were very helpful. It really helped me to revise the Chapter One Extension Rewrite.

Fourth Critique

It was dusk as the night was approaching. I headed back downtown to unwind. I’m always putting a band aid on my pain by dancing the night away and getting drunk enough to only feel that good feeling. When I’m in the zone being swirled into the loud music, I became the beat.
Sounds like a fun character. Try to use active voice instead of passive whenever possible. For example, “It was dusk” could become “Dusk fell over the city, as I headed back downtown to unwind.”

Yes, Faith is a fun character when you get to know her Writing in active voice is something that I really need to work on.

Sometimes I would drink too much just so I would be too drunk to fight back. Saying no to men never stopped the vultures in sheep clothing from wearing out my jewel. It was easier for me to cope with being in powerless situations opposed to fighting an uncontrolled battle that I have never won.
Try to avoid redundancy in word use. For example, the first sentence has drink and drunk in it. Nothing’s really wrong with that, but it might be more interesting to mix up the words a bit. Maybe something like: . . . just so the booze would render me helpless. Could maybe throw in a metaphor, like: Serving as a puppet in these battles somehow protected my pride from the feeling of failure.

This analysis is very deep and sad. Good job being able to express it.

Pride has nothing to do with the situations. Faith is not protecting her pride. I don’t think the reviewer understood where I was coming from in this paragraph.

In regards to the sentence about feeling of failure, I don’t quite agree with the word “failure.” When someone is a victim, we don’t necessarily have feelings of failure. We more so have feelings of defeat. When I think of failure, it’s more as though one has failed something one was trying to do, not doing something one has no control over.

She hit it right on the nail. I was able to express it because the character Faith is actually me. This was a very deep and sad time in my life. Some fiction novels have a lot of truth to the story. This is my truth that many can relate to. I’m not alone. You’re not alone. Together we can overcome our past to not let it affect our future.

“When you get downtown, stop by McDonald’s to pick me up two Double Cheeseburgers,” said Darius.
OMG, of all the nerve. Good job making him come across like a jerk.

Ha, Darius is a jerk! Usually when one abuses his girlfriend, they act like they have done no wrong. Life continues to move forward with the abuser as if all is normal. Victims are so used to doing what the abuser wants them to do no matter how bad the abuser has hurt the victim. The victim begins to self-blame and being remorseful to the abuser as if the abuser is the victim. The victim begins to care for the abuser’s needs and wants just to keep the peace.

A lot of people walked around, down the sidewalk, street and drove bumper to bumper. There was a row of club spots, bars and jumbo pizza places. It was hard to choose where I wanted to go considering that I was all by myself. I was determined to have a good time, although I felt so sad inside.
Wouldn’t she rather be with a friend? Or would a friend hold her accountable? (Not let her drink too much and become powerless)?

Yes, Faith would rather be with a friend, but that wasn’t the case. Faith usually had to go out by herself because she couldn’t get a hold of her friends. Faith seemed to believe that she was strong enough to protect herself while she was out. The type of friends that Faith had during that time, were not the type that would hold her accountable. She usually still was in bad situations around her “so-called friends.” They never stopped her from drinking too much nor did they protect her from becoming powerless.

Closing comments

Great story line. I’m intrigued by her attitude that it’s easier to get drunk and be powerless than to stay sober and be in charge of oneself. And I’m also intrigued by what is going to happen in the club to change her life.
My biggest suggestion is to pay attention to your tense and try to stay completely in past tense (or present tense, but just be consistent).
My second biggest suggestion is to try to minimize verbs like is am are was were when possible. Your writing will be more bold and will have more to visualize in your descriptions when you substitute other verbs.
Good job.

Yes, this reviewer gets it after all!!! I’ve always had issues with tense since I’ve been writing the Faith Series, Book One. I definitely need to work on minimizing the verbs in order to write with more description for my readers to visualize. I’m currently reading two writing books to help me along the way. Studying these books have been great tools during my writing journey.

What tools do you use to help you with your writing journey?

Fifth Critique

You’ve written a piece that is intriguing and even captivating, but there are some issues that need to be worked out.

I did the rewrite already which is currently up for review. This reviewers suggestions really helped me during my rewrite. I greatly appreciate the feedback.

Do you use critiquing sites to help with your writing journey? If so, which ones?

Please share, follow & like us:)

Today concludes Sexual Assault Awareness Month, Child Abuse Awareness Month, and the 16th was Teen Literature Day. I would like to end this month by presenting an inspirational introduction.

Meet Tia Hines. She is a published author with Urban Books, youth mentor and a sexual assault survivor that has a very fascinating way of reaching the young generation and inspiring adults to have dreams, and if you don’t already know her, you will want to.

Tia Hines is an author from Boston, MA who is making her mark in the literary world. She is a full time training specialist by day and a writer by night. When not writing, she dedicates her time to mentoring and teaching hip-hop dance to youth. She graduated from Northeastern University with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration and has a Master’s degree from Suffolk University in Criminal Justice. Tia discovered her passion for writing at a very young age. She figured she could create unimaginable stories through an explosion of words. With this in mind, she wrote her first novel, “Drama,” which successfully debuted as an Essence Magazine Bestseller. She has now written her second novel entitled, “That Girl is Poison.” In addition to that, she is in the process of launching her own publishing company. Her main goal is to get more youth to read and she plans to accomplish this by writing a series of intriguing novels. Tia wants to inspire everyone to set goals to create dreams and never stop striving to achieve new heights.

Today, Tia is spreading a message through her novel, “That Girl is Poison” shedding light on the most talked about youth discussions involving the following topics:

• Sex
• Promiscuity
• HIV
• Teen Rape
• Child Sexual Assault
• Pregnancy
• Abuse (Emotional, Mental, Physical)
• Neglect

Her powerful lessons in this book reflects on respect, love, and protection. Whether hearing her speak or reading her words, people are immediately drawn to Tia’s fictional character experiences many can relate to, and her own growing pain experiences…and, of course, her motivational life lessons.

To arrange for an interview with Tia Hines, write a feature story or book review, please contact Tishawn Marie directly at 209.227.4643 or send an email: pr@celestialcaringent.com. If you would like to receive access to the digital copy of the book, one can be provided to you. And, here are two links: the book cover for “That Girl is Poison” and the book trailer.

“That Girl is Poison” is available for purchase at Amazon.

Please share, follow & like us:)

Welcome to “My First Novel: A Writing Journey!” Writing my first novel is a very special and interesting journey that I will start experiencing in my life. I really enjoy my creativity flourishing from beginning to end with passionate projects that will make a difference in our world. In doing so, I hope other writers will be inspired, uplifted and empowered when reading my writing episodes. You’ll learn what worked for me and didn’t work. I’ll share beneficial resources that helped me through the process. More so, this blog will shed light on domestic violence among families. I hope to bring more awareness to such a secretive topic for those who haven’t been able to break the stronghold and be freed from the cycle of abuse once and for all. I’ve come to the realization that separation and divorce does not necessarily mean that freedom has come.

The Faith Series is about a young adult who is the victim of abuse, not yet a survivor. She later becomes a divorced single mother. Faith seeks to break the cycle of abuse to put an end to her victimized life. In the name of protecting her 4 children, Faith journeys on survival mode to reach victory.

At a young age, I used to write books, poems and play/movie scripts that never published and I have no clue what happened to those writings. I’ve always had a love for writing and reading. I kept a diary that I started writing as a child and still write in my diaries to this day. Journal writing is such a huge part of my life. I was a big fan of Nancy Drew, The Babysitter’s Club, Romance books, and as I got older my interests turned to Self-Help & Spiritual books. I collect good books and throughout the years have read many, but still have a ways to go. I do have a slight addiction– book binges. I make my way to book sections of stores any time I’m out shopping and I buy every interesting book with a fabulous cover.

I always wanted to get back into writing, but this time taking my hobby more seriously. Eleven years ago I started working with magazine companies and then became a Publicist and opened my Public Relations Boutique seven years ago. Than last year I entered into the Book Publishing world when I landed a major out-of-state Publishing Company client. This was just what I needed to get my passionate juices flowing again. My skills excelled to the next level when I started working with Authors. It was an intriguing hands on learning experience and financially rewarding (I might add 🙂 Most of all, I met very wonderful authors!!!

Now I’m ready to write a novel to publish. So here I am! I finally started writing my first novel earlier this week on Tuesday June 17, 2014 when reality hit me hard and immediately realized that I actually wrote the introduction to what would become my first novel. Experienced writers say to begin writing and you’ll go someplace. That’s exactly what I did and it definitely took me somewhere. I went from not knowing what to write to establish a protagonist, plot and a series idea.

Please share, follow & like us:)